Hesitations

Scratchy eyes, stuffed noses and sneezes mark the official leaf out of trees for many with allergies. In the upper Midwest climate change is warming our falls and appears to be cooling April and May. Typical years would have 12 April days with high temps of between 55 and 70 degrees. For two years we have had half of that. And trees need warmer temps on a steady schedule in April to grow leaves by May 1. Not only do we have slow moving weather, but Alberta wildfire smoke that blocks blue skies. 

Ducks have been surveying our backyard, ignoring a small noisy dog, for the right place to lay their eggs. For two days they try the mulch under pine trees. Another day they sit in the middle of the lawn. Then they disappear.

Our little granddaughter is able to race around the house holding onto one finger of an adult’s hand. For a few days she managed to travel the same track independently with a huge smile and laughs. After a few days of going solo, she returned to walking with someone. A week later she ran to greet us.

Nature hesitates. The trees are quite healthy, the ducks will probably settle someplace under a neighbor’s deck, our granddaughter will travel on her own today or tomorrow. The world keeps spinning during these brief respites during transitions. Planets don’t collapse, rules of gravity remain intact, global population increases. 

What I need to take away from nature is the difference between hesitation and procrastination. It’s okay to push back a haircut for a whole lot of reasons, but not so good to ignore a mammography or eye test. The choice between sloppy joes or pork chops for dinner can be delayed until right before I leave the grocery store. If I forget, there are scrambled eggs for dinner. 

Hesitation has been given a bad rap. “He hesitated” implies a less than enthusiastic response to a question or opportunity. The elevator hesitated takes a story a whole different direction. She stepped on the gas and the car hesitated might mean a substantial repair bill. 

Yet hesitations can be like a “could” instead of a “should” in a day if we lean into the luxury of rolling lesser decisions forward. In a life directed by dreaded to do lists, I hope I can leave paint swatches up on the wall another week to study how they look in the sun and light. A friend of mine did that for the entire holiday season including her husband’s staff party. Why not? 

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